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He was about 40 and smiled at me. I looked the other way. After a year I still felt humiliated in the company of others. The bar was a nightmare. I had no choice other than to act the smiling girly or I would be fired. I would look out at the sea of faces that wanted to be served wishing that I had a chance to be male again, not the little slut that men would fuck, but not the type that they would take home to meet their mothers.The bus arrived at the club and I got off and entered by the side door. ?I hope your panties are clean? said one of the security men smiling sarcastically. He asked me if I had enjoyed the three guys fucking me against the wall outside the club the previous night. I scowled at him. He did not understand Mei Lings curse on me. I could not help myself. Any man that Lucy found attractive was free to use her. Each night I would arrive home with my panties sticky from the semen of guys that wanted to use my female sex organ as a mastibation device. No man wanted. I sat on the top of a half barrel in the back kitchen of my landlady’s house watching my new close acquaintance Francine cook some eggs freshly collected from the chickens in her grandmother’s barn that were well kept survivors of the war and producing without a worry in their head about what came tomorrow. It was impossible for me to drag my eyes from her shifting buttocks under her thin fabric summer dress that showed off her heart-shaped bottom to absolute perfection. I remembered with a sense of guilt her squirming under the weight of my body as I tried my best to find her special trigger to send her into those convulsions that made me get my own special tingle that seemed so sweet just thinking about it. She looked back at me with a smile on her face as if she knew exactly what I was thinking and winked at me with that same attitude that had already made me her willing accomplice in any form of carnal lust she wanted.Her grandmother was reporting to us that the Gestapo was having.
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